bjjfights

Usually I am a very private person; but, here goes...I've been struggling for quite a while with anxiety and depression.  Sometimes it paralyzes me.  Sometimes it doesn't.  It's painful and hard to explain.  If you ever see me drop off the face of the earth, you'll know I'm most likely struggling.  I've become quite the expert at going off the grid.  At times, training jiu jitsu has been life saving.  It keeps me grounded and surrounded by a loving, non-judgmental support group.  Your team is everything.  They can make you or break you in the journey.  It's also important having a coach who understands my struggles.  He pushes and pulls me just as the right times.  Then there are the times when even jiu jitsu doesn't save me.  These times are the worst...like falling into a dark pit without a light or a ladder...scratching and clawing to find your way out.  Every second wanting to be present and living your life; but unable to do so.  Feeling like a comp